You know ur a nurse if...

1. Your friends call you for medical advice
2. Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers
3. You mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a complete stranger
4. You think that caffeine should be available in IV form
5. You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing
6. You believe air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing
7. You believe If the child is quiet, be scared.
8. You always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes
9. You believe there is no such thing as a "textbook case"
10. You have seen more moons than the Hubble telescope
11. You've ever cared for a patient with ATS (Acute Thespian Syndrome)
12. You don't get excited about blood loss-unless it's your own
13. When asked, "Are you are the nurse on tonight?" You want to respond, "No, I just like dressing up as a Nurse and hanging around because I have nothing better to do!"
14. When you tell a man you meet for the first time you're a nurse, you're expected to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath, as if it was the most original and wittiest thing you've ever heard
15. When asked "What color is the patients diarrhea or vomit?"...you show the doctor your shoes.
16. And just for nancy J cause she has done this before, your friends are always asking you to get samples of the medications they are on, or any medication for that matter.

You know you are a night nurse when:

• You live for the thrill of always driving in the opposite direction of rush hour traffic.
• You can drink a six pack of coke and still go to sleep in the morning.
• You are willing to beg, borrow, or steal not to work the night daylight savings time goes into effect.
• You want to throttle anyone that states: Night shift must be so boring, all the patients do is sleep.

Top Ten Reasons to be a nurse:

1. Pays better than fast food, although the hours aren't as good.
2. Fashionable shoes and sexy uniforms.
3. Needles: Its better to give than receive
4. Reassure you patients that all bleeding stops.....eventually
5. You get to expose yourself to rare, exotic, and exciting rare diseases
6. Interesting Aromas
7. Courteous and Infallible doctors who leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting
8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends....at work
10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them



Top 10 reasons to date a nurse:

1. The are the most caring loving people you will ever meet
2. Nothing shocks a nurse
3. They get to wear a sexy outfit for a living
4. They are not bothered by your bathroom habits
5. They can help u get over ur sickness
6. They can tell u when to worry and when you are being a big baby! lol
7.They know how to handle bodily fluids
8. They have a special knack for applying band-aids and making everything feel better
9. They can give one heck of a bed bath lol
10. They are experienced in manual evacuation when your full of crap