Monday, June 22, 2009

Flaws and All

Who is more critical of us than ourselves?


We all have flaws.

Some of us may have a birthmark in an obvious place. (I know I did, I had it removed lol) Some of us may tend to be too needy. Some of us may nag or become too unkind when the pressure of our daily lives starts to close in on us.

Some of us may have habits that annoy some and are cute to others.

Some of us may be overweight. Some of us may be too short. Some may be too flat chested. Some of us may have body parts that don't quite look right.

We all have flaws; be it physical or in our personalities. Nobody is perfect. We are human.

I am not a girl who like cliches.

One cliche that bothers me is Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder. I get it. I get the point of this saying.

But it still bothers me.

The most insecure people I have ever met are the most attractive people. Why is that? If they are already seen as beautiful by most, then why are they the ones constantly seeking positive reinforcement?

It's because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But for true beauty to exist, the eye of the beholder must be our own eyes.

In other words, if we don't find ourselves attractive, if we aren't comfortable with who we are, if we don't love ourselves; nobody else will or if they do, it won't be for long.

I sit here late at night with my thoughts and ask myself questions. Questions like... why am I 29 and not married. Or why have my past relationships not worked out?

For years, I wrestled with these thoughts.

The answer does not deserve as much reflection as I give it.

The answer is simple.

Accept myself.

I am flawed.

Whoever decides to love me is flawed.

Work on those flaws but don't let those flaws dictate my actions and words.

Don't try to change someone else.

And finally, be kind to myself.

Who is more critical of ourselves more than us?


And that is a shame.

Beyonce has this song out Called Flaws and All. Its so beautiful, I love it.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that's why I love you-
Beyonce, Flaws and All

That is what I think of when I think of Peter. He loves me flaws and all. The last guy I tried to date, was a decent guy. But he told me that I had all the qualities of a person he would like to marry however he only had dated petite girls and he thought he would have a problem with me being the way i am. He make me question myself, but above all I know this is who I was. And no matter what if I changed it would have to be for myself, if i changed for him I would only hold it against him later. Ultimately I knew that I would never be what he wanted, and being what he wanted would never make me happy.

Then I met Peter. Never once have I ever had to try and be something that I am not with him. I don't have to try and act smarter than I am (cause he knows I saw some extremely dumb things, A LOT!) I don't have a dress a certain way or say or do a certain thing. Peter loves me just the way I am, and he doesn't hesitate to let me know this each and every single day. I don't know why he loves me, and I may never understand, but he loves me flaws and all.

Beyonce - Flaws And All Live (Official Music Video) - Funny videos are here

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Im totally slacking but life is good

I just haven't had much motivation to blog lately. I don't have much to blog about. Things have been going really well in my life lately. Work is starting to get much better. We hired a new nurse who started this past Monday so im in the process of showing her a few ropes and then she will take over on the CBA program (the one for the elderly) and I will get the CLASS program which is mostly kids. I have a lot of work to do in the program, but now I can devote all my time and energy towards getting that done.
Things with Peter are going amazing! He is the most incredible guy, and I count myself lucky every day that he found his way into my life. I am absolutely in love with him, and enjoy every minute we get to spend together. He is so fun and Witty and he ALWAYS makes me laugh. I can act like a complete idiot (and trust me I do this often) and he still makes me feel like the smartest person in the room. I got to meet his sister Laura last weekend. Its his only sibling, she is 29 like me, and is married and lives in Austin. She was great to meet, even though she didn't know much about me, she welcomed me with a hug the second she met me. She had lots of questions about who I am and what i do, how I met Peter, etc etc. She said it was all the things a sister should know.
So things are amazing. I am extremely happy. My boss commented that I have been smiling so much more at work. And she realizes how much less stressed I am right now. Funny side note, the new nurse Amy and I realized today that Peters dad used to be her boss at Children's ICU a little over 2 years ago. What a small world! We made that connection when she just so happened to ask what Peters last name was today on our way home from a visit. Mohat is not really a common last name.
Life is Good Pictures, Images and Photos