Saturday, January 31, 2009

Nothing makes me happier

Nothing gets my blood pumping more and puts a larger smile on my face than music, especially when its a song a really love. One persons music who has always been able to do that is Kelly Clarkson. She is just simply amazing! I have seen her in concert 3 times so far and I know it will be more especially with her new album coming out. Her music is just so much fun, and its no exception to her new song "My Life Would Suck Without You." I find myself staying in my car just a little bit longer hoping its going to home on the radio again. And after a busy day of cleaning house, nothing is more relaxing than watching this music video on audio repeat. I am going to preorder my copy of her new Cd coming out the beginning of March, you know I will be rockin out to that one! LOVE IT!
Kelly Clarkson Pictures, Images and Photos

Pulling on my heart strings

The one thing I am learning to deal with having started this new job, is having to develop a new set of "thick skin" for a new type of patients. Working with sick children is sad. It tends to wear on your heart, and you can either learn to be sad all the time, or you learn to develop "thick skin" and leave your work at work.
The latter part of my week I was asked to go along with some one of our coordinators to meet a patient that I will be needing to follow up with later. He was a normal teenager until he was 16 when he was involved in a car accident that left him with a brain injury. So this once normal teenager is now a 25 year old who is a total care patient. he can smile and moan, but otherwise he requires the care of someone else for everything in his life. He will forever be dependent on someone else.
Then I had to go visit a 52 year old woman debilitated by MS. It has gotten her to the point that she is a paraplegic. She used to be wheelchair bound which wasn't too bad, but 5 weeks ago she developed a wound on her behind that has made her unable to be in her chair and requires her to be in bed 24/7. This poor woman lives at home by herself and is wholly dependent on someone to come and move her, make her meals... basically do everything for her. I couldn't even sleep last night thinking about her and her needs and how she need someone to do more for her. She needs more than just a tech that is in that is her in home for 40 hours a week, she needs a nurse...shoot she needs even more than that. My coordinator ended up having to come out with me to meet this lady due to a scheduling conflict and I was told by my boss that she came back to the office and just sat down in a chair in my bosses room and just bawled. Shes in a tough place and unfortunately she is only going to get worse.
So I guess I will have to learn to love while I can, but know that I can only do so much and I need to leave my work at work. I can't let it affect my sleep or make it to where I can rest, and relax. My mom suggested that I ask me dad for a blessing of this manner. I think its a great idea, this is hard stuff, and sometimes people are just not equipped to handle it. my heart hurts Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Love lessons from man's best friend

Found this article on online and loved it, thought I would share.

Though dogs have been labeled man's best friend, when it comes down to it, Fido is probably more the type of buddy you'd seek out for a game of catch, not love advice. According to Harrison Forbes, professional dog trainer and author of Heart of a Dog: What Challenging Dogs Have Taught Me About Love, Trust and Second Chances, however, you might want to reconsider the notion that your canine knows nothing about matters of the heart. "Dogs do the types of things we should do more often, and the things they don't get involved in — well, we should really skip them, too, if we're looking for love," he asserts. Puzzled by the notion that you may actually be able to get some romance pointers from your Pointer? Read on for five love lessons you can learn from dogs.

1. The reassurance of forgiveness
In order to have a successful partnership, letting bygones be bygones is crucial. An inability to get over issues and move ahead is a key roadblock to happiness. Dogs, Forbes notes, are always in the moment and therefore don't hold grudges or hang onto resentment. "Dogs wipe the slate clean many times a day," he explains. "If you are grumpy and yell at your dog, but then wait a minute and act like you never did, he will forgive you — many times over. If humans could let the little things go as easily as dogs do, their relationships would be better for it."

2. The security of unconditional love
Forbes says that as a rule, when a dog loves his owner, that bond is lasting and real. "It's interesting to note that celebrities are over-the-top pet lovers," he says. "This is because their dogs really love them for who they are, not their A-list status; a dog will always treat you the same. Dogs offer truly substantive relationships in a way most people don't," he notes. When it comes to romantic relationships, humans should strive to emulate a dog's focus on what a person really offers in terms of love, kindness and warmth, he advises.

3. The comfort of consistency
In a romantic relationship, consistency can be quite comforting. What's not to love about a partner who is never moody or capricious? "We as humans understand there are different types of behavior, yet we crave consistency," Forbes says. "With dogs, regardless of your animal's personality, you pretty much get the same behavior unless he's ill. A lot of people take comfort in that aspect of pet ownership, so you can only imagine how much similar behavior could add to a romantic relationship."

4. The need to be playful
Forbes notes that most dogs want to have a good time, keeping things light and not so serious all of the time. "The easiest way to burn out a working dog is to work him all the time — that pretty much goes for relationships as well," he says. In police-dog training, Forbes explains, training is balanced with play and fun. "The harder you go at it in a training phase, the more you have to counterbalance it," he says. "It's the same with a relationship — you have to relieve the pressure through play and good times."

5. The importance of effective communication
While communicating with your partner is important in a relationship, it's not merely the act of communicating that will ensure your relationship's success, but finding the way to do so that best matches your partner's needs. This is a skill that you can easily learn from working with dogs, Forbes says. "The different ways in which I communicate with my three dogs are suited to what works best for them … and for me with them," he explains. You have to be willing to experiment and find the best way to communicate with dogs, and the same goes for your romantic interests, he says: "Just as a hot-tempered dog won't respond to yelling and lots of commands, neither will a hot-tempered person. At the same time, some more sensitive types may need a gentler approach. Essentially, no one person or dog communicates the same way — each individual has a unique style, and taking the time to learn about your partner's needs is the key to a strong bond."

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Smile its almost Valentine's Day

That's right...


...And what better time to slit your wrists with the dull butter knife? That is reality. But all the the stores like to take advantage of the worst holiday of the year to smear it all over the remains of what used to be your heart. Ladies and gentleman, what I'll take upon myself to make you all aware of during the course of this warm and fuzzy 'Made-up-by-Hal-mark' holiday is something that no one in this world likes to face up to – the brutal truth.

That's right, people. Shut up your excuses, tie them with rope and duct take their carefully planned out distractive-yet-lame, long-winded stories of denial, because what I'm going to tell you isn't what you want to hear. Oh, Heavens no. It's exactly the opposite. And, if your glittery Valentine's Day pen is out and waving naively around the room, get out your notebook and get ready to take notes. And if you are ready to decorate house and every blank surface in your vicinity with nothing but superficial hearts and hopes of true, long-lasting love, well, then this blog is most definitely for you.

There's no doubt about it. Valentine's Day sucks. Everyone runs around frothing, proclaiming their love and pledging their eternal allegiance to one another. If someone truly cared about you, I think you'd hear it more often than once a year, presented with a heart shaped cardboard box picked up from CVS filled with cheap chocolates made with oils and lard and a card picked up for $2.95. This will supposedly cover all wrongs and faults in the relationship with one fell swoop, leaving the giver allieved of all sins committed within the past year. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a single young woman bent on giving grief to everyone else who is in a relationship. I'm a stark realist. But I do want someone to tell me if I'm loved of their own volition, not because some fabricated greeting card holiday sponsored by Hallmark compels them.

Okay you're right. I'm cynical. Sue me. Ask me what I've gone through, and then maybe that eyebrow you've escalated will come down a few notches. But this, my friends, is my 2009 Black Valentines Day rant for those of you out there still happy. I'm afraid I'm throwing you a cold eye roll and a 'Don't worry, it won't last' in your still hopeful direction. I don't mean to be such a glittering ray of sunshine. But its hard when since the day Christmas was over they have blasted us with Valentines everywhere. Enough already!
My Version of Valentines Day Pictures, Images and Photos

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Full of hope

I know I had said my day was stressful, but it mostly was stress I had in my head cause I really didn't do much today...

I woke up today full of hope.

A new day had dawned.

The day of change was at hand.

I was excited. I was expecting today to be different that the last 3000 days when President Bush was in office. Today was going to be all about change.

So, I slept in. I knew my boss would understand. If she dared threaten to fire me, I was ready to tell her about change and remind her that President Obama would save me from getting my butt fired.

To chronicle this great day of change, I took some notes:

7:00 a.m.
I woke up one hour late. I took a one hour shower because I knew it was now impossible to waste water with our new environmental president ready to save the planet.

8:00 a.m.
Traffic sucked. In fact, it was even worse than those days when Bush was president. Change in the form of traffic was NOT the positive change I was promised. But I thought about it and realized that the traffic was because of the thousands of jobs Obama had promised... more people were already working thanks to our new president.

9:00 a.m.
I walk into work an hour late. The boss and some coordinators stared me down with the meanest of looks. Because I was full of hope, I smiled and said, "Cheer up. Change has arrived."

9:15 a.m.
It was time for lunch. I realized that working hard was no longer necessary knowing that very soon half of my boss's paycheck would be taxed to give to me. That's the kind of change I like... seeing my boss only have change left after taxes are taken from his paycheck.

9:16 a.m.
Before I went to lunch, I decided to fill my car up with gas. It was $1.79 a gallon; 20 cents higher than when Bush was president last week. Apparently, Mr. Obama called up his oil buddies and told them to raise prices so he could line his own pockets with our gas money.

9:30 a.m.
I headed to Jack in the Box. The woman at the drive thru only spoke Canadian. I asked her to speak English. She replied, "Eh". Then I demanded to speak to her manager. The manager came to the drive thru window and said, "I am sorry, Ma'am, but Shania is an illegal alien from Ottawa and she hasn't learned English, yet. If you have a problem with her, write a letter to the new president."

9:45 a.m.
I ate my lunch in my office while listening to my coworkers complain about
my new work habits, but i laughed it off because I knew my new president had my back.

11am I finished eating my lunch

11:01am I checked my email

12:47pm I decided I had done enough for the day, I told my boss I was needing a "change" and that I was going home. I left before she could answer.

I LOVE this new change, so much good has come into my life. I can't wait to find out what comes next!


Friday, January 23, 2009


Its been a really really long week for me. Im exhausted, I want nothing to do but to go home eat and sleep. Of course that doesn't happen, but its what my body wants. I can fall asleep, IF I take a large amount of muscle relaxers, but like last night, I went to sleep by 11. Then I woke up at 3, 4, 5 and 6 it was frustrating. I have been in training for half the week for one program this company does, but there are so many other I know nothing about. They have patients in this program called C.L.A.S.S. I don't understand much about it other than I know its for patients with mental disabilities such as downs syndrome or cerebral palsy. This is a program I want to become intimately involved in because this is the type of patients I would interact with in the hospital. I love this kids especially the downs syndrome kiddos. But like today, the C.L.A.S.S. coordinator is telling me about this patient that is wanting to transfer to our services. Only problem is, I don't understand the program, what is allowed what needs to be done. This kid needs someone with her at all times but she needs nursing care and I can't be there everyday, so its up to me to decide of I want to delegate those tasks to an "attendant" but if they screw up, its MY licence. Ummm no, I worked too hard to get that just to throw it away. But I don't know what the do's and don'ts are with this company, I need more guidance and yet the nurses at the Abilene office are supposed to train me, but I don't blame them for not wanting to drive 3 hours plus everyday to train with me. There is way too much to learn, and I have no one to teach me, and I can't learn it all on my own. Talk about stress!


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'll take the night shift, you can have the day

I Dont Do Mornings Pictures, Images and Photos

I have been thinking it would be a good idea for a while to find a job in which I was working normal "8-5" Monday through Friday job. I finally found a job like that and have began the "transition" to becoming a day shift person. Problem is my body doesn't like waking up when it's used to going to sleep. Instead of becoming easier as the days go by, it has become harder! I am finally back from my trip and Im exhausted. It was a lot to take in, a ton for my brain to absorb. And it doesn't stop there I have to be there in the office first thing in the morning tomorrow. It will be my first time to go with morning traffic so I really have no clue how long its going to take me to get to work. Well I guess I shall hope for sleep, wish me luck I hope my day in the office goes smoothly.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Post Inaugurational Hope

We had the chance to watch the inauguration of President Obama today while we were in our training class. While there were many in our group who didn't vote for Obama, they were all anxious for the speech, anxious for the history being made. I for one was not in anyway anxious to listen to what Barack had to say, however I was beyond moved by his speech. His whole calmness, demeanor and what appeared to be humility in reguards to the task at hand was impressive. And his eloquence was moving, what a change from our previous president lol.

"We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it."

President Obama, we as your people will stand behind you, and pray that you will lead our country for good that you will do all that you promise and we hope that you will help to change our world.

PS Reverend Lowrey, please lay off whatever drugs you smoking that would cause you to give such a "unique" benediction. Who says this???

“We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.”

Monday, January 19, 2009

Greetings from my travels

So I found out the middle of last week that I had to fly to Lubbock Sunday night for training for my new job. So after finishing up with my last 3 days at the hospital, I got to go to a goodbye work dinner on thursday night and then went out with my friend Monica to get a pedicure and Acrylic nails put on for my birthday. Then Friday I had to go into the office for an hour to fill out paperwork (nice birthday gift I know) and then I met up with my whole family for lunch. Well whole family minus Sharon and Lauralee who don't live here. Then I went and got a 3 hour massage, which turned out to be quite painful and i hurt for days after. Then for dinner my mom made me some homemade pizza which is one of my favorite things she makes. Then after dinner my new roommate Melissa came over to my parents we played a few games of Greed and then went home around 11. Chet was able to come by and spend a few days he got to my house about 1130. Saturday one of my best friends, Holly, flew in from Colorado for a few weeks.
Then Sunday, the day after she got here, I flew out to Lubbock for CBA training. It feels like a complete foreign language. There are so many thing I didn't know. I had never heard of D.A.D.S which is the Texas state program this is based from. Its the Department of aging and disable services. So while its a very helpful program its a state program so of course you get to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop. Its crazy! I am very overwhelmed, but one of the nurses from one of other clinics spent about 2 hours just answering my questions and trying as much as possible to put my mind at ease. Its a lot to take in and I can't wait to go back home, but until then I got to get some sleep, I still have two more days of training.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Yes these are real

Playmobil Border Security Pictures, Images and Photos

My friends blog called my attention to this wonderful new invention that Playmobil has for kids. Yes its a real toy, albeit expensive. You have to read the user comments on Amazon though, its hilarious!

Apparently playmobil has come up with all sorts of "toys" that you can teach your children with for new events and such that occur in their lives other than having to go through security check points.

Playmobil incubator

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Girls don't make passes at boys with fat....behinds

I subscribe to this girls blogs on myspace, she write a new blog every day, she is quite the excellent little writer, but this blog had me laughing soooooooo hard! I had to share!

Every now and then some guy will announce on my blog that he has to draw the line at dating fat chicks. Come on, he'll say. He has a right to have standards too.

And you can pretty much bet money that when you click on that guy's picture what you're going to find is something a whole lot like this:

Even worse are the ones who look like that but don't seem to realize it. You know the type. The guy who will say things like, "I like to keep myself healthy and I expect my woman to do the same." He'll even claim to be a gym-rat...while all the time you're looking at his picture and thinking, "Is he for REAL?"

But men seem to think there's a double standard. Women must stay in shape. We must be thin, toned, and never dare to eat a piece of chocolate or skip a workout. They, on the other hand, are free to sit on the sofa downing Ho-hos like they're going out of style while drooling over the latest commercial for Victoria's Secret. "THAT is the woman for me," they'll say. "I just can't seem to find her."

There's a reason for that. In case I need to remind look like this:


...says you need to investigate the possibility of a sit-up or two. Because this...

...hasn't missed a workout in six years. Sometimes she even works out twice, just in case some fat might be clinging to a rib somewhere. This...

...just, quite simply, isn't going to fit in with your lifestyle. Even IF she can get past the point that your belly makes her want to puke, picture how your life will be.

You: Honey, I think we should go out for dinner. We've had bean sprouts and cottage cheese for four nights straight and I want some real food.
Her: Sure, honey-bun. Let's go.

You: (A few minutes later, in the car.) How about Pizza Hut?
Her: (Wrinkling her nose.) Oh. My. God. Are you kidding? Do you know how long it will take me to work off the calories in just one cheese slice? I'll be in the gym all day tomorrow. No thank you. Name something else.
You: (Frowning, because you are DYING for a slice of pizza or ten.) Ummm... How about Antonio's?
Her: No way. Pasta? You know I can't have carbs.
You: (Sighing.) Fine. Then you name a place.
Her: The Whole Foods grocery store has a great vegan-style restaurant. I heard the bean sprouts are really good there...

It all sounded SO good when you were imagining your fantasy woman. She looked like that, but she ate like you. She never counted a calorie and she certainly wasn't so obsessed with her looks. Where did you go wrong?

You chose someone who was all wrong for you.

Eventually something's gotta give. Either your dream woman will succumb to your lifestyle and pretty soon BOTH of you will look a little like this:

Or...she'll grow tired of going to the gym alone. She'll dream of vacations involving hiking and lots of activity. You'll dream of laying around on the beach for days. Active people do not want to be stuck with lazy people. Write that down. Even if you're active and just have bad eating habits, how long until she's disgusted with your horrible diet? Once she realizes she can't change you, what do you think will happen?

It IS possible for a completely fit woman to fall for an out-of-shape guy. Happens all the time. But, more often than not, a couple that starts out mismatched ends up fitting together a whole lot more once they settle into day-to-day life. (See picture of couple above.)

But hey, dream big, little fella. If it doesn't work out for you, you'll always have your dreams.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A few have been asking

A few people have been asking some questions about my new job and my new roommate so I thought I would put my answers in a separate blog so as to make it easier on the responses.

First matter of business, my last shift at the hospital will be my wednesday night shift. After that I will have 4 days off in observance of my dreaded birthday on Friday in which I will be turning 29. *gags* Then on monday I will be starting my training for a home health agency called Caprock Home Health agency. As you can see they hope to cover an extremely large area all over the DFW metroplex. I am hoping they really don't plan to send me to all those places but who knows. This place started out in Lubbock and the Richardson location is pretty new. I am actually the first staff RN they have hired. The good thing about this job is its going to be a lot easier on my back. I have a bulging disc in my low back for the past 10 years, but working in nursing especially in the hospital, the past 3 years has made it get progressively get worse to where im always in pain. So with this new job I am not going to be bending and lifting. (my back breaths a large sign of relief) I will be assessing the new patients and filling out lots and im told LOTS of paperwork. Then i will create a care plan for the patient and decide what care they will need etc. I don't exactly know my whole job assignment but they ensured me it will not be actual patient care because I told them I want to save my back. The other good thing about this job is I will be returning to the hours of the rest of the human race. I will be a salaried worker working M-F 8-5. No more weekends, no more nights and no more holidays except when i have to take call.

The second a few people have been asking is about my new roommate. Yes my new roommate Melissa moved in a little over a week ago. She is only here in Texas til the end of April while doing an internship at Cooper Aerobic Institute. She is extremely sweet and so far we have been getting along greatly. And for those who asked, this is what she looks like (so Shahna you can see if you spot her while you are working out and for Josh to see if she was in any of your Exercise Science classes at BYU)

I stole a halloween pic off her facebook


Shes on the left

False Advertising

I was driving home from work last night, and I felt the starvation in my stomach as I walked out into the parking lot and realized that I hadn't eaten in over 9 hours. As I began my drive home the list of potential fast food places that might be open after midnight ran through my mind. My mind settled on Jack in the Box. *grin* I pulled up to the drive through menu and I felt a twinge of instant gratification as I looked at their mouth-watering posters of their burgers, fries, Ciabatta (or, CHA-batta, as I like to spell it) sandwiches, and their two-for-a-dollar tacos. Dang… those two-for-a-dollar tacos looked good.

Almost… TOO good.

I looked closer at the pictures, and was amazed at how much lettuce was pouring out of the tops of the taco shells. Amazing. And their shells? A perfect golden mix of yumminess. I wanted one. I mean, I wanted one BAD. It almost made my thought of my Asian chicken salad go right out the door. But I decided to be good. I would get the tacos to take the edge off my hunger for now and then the salad would be for 4 or 5 hours later after my work out when and if my hunger returned.

I realized as I was driving down the road, opening one of the tacos with one hand, texting on the phone with the other, and steering with my left foot lol jk, that in complete and utter dismay, this taco looked NOTHING like the tacos from that poster on the side of the building. It was a greasy, soggy, anything-but-golden, wobbly little pile of mushy 'could've been a taco at one time last year' looking thing. Granted, amidst the disappointment (and a few choice words), I ate it anyway. But I wasn't nearly as satisfied. In fact, it got me thinking about advertising, and how irritated at myself that I'd been so fooled.

Think of the hilarity of how far out of the realm of reality advertisements will sometimes take you. Take the Herbal Essence woman and her shampoo, for example. Who doesn't want shampoo - when applied - to shoot you into an orgasmic state? I know I'd enjoy it, even though taking six showers a day would more than likely interrupt this good life schedule I've got going on right now. Or, OR… I saw a commercial the other day advertising razors for women. This colorful advertisement showed a group of girls on a beach – each with their own brightly colored razor (you know, why not?) – and when they joined together in a circle and held their razors to the heavens, a rainbow shot out of them. Amazing. I want to see THAT happen at my next razor party at my apartment. Or do we have to be on a beach for full effect? Guess I'll have to find out next time I buy into it.

Or how about those commercials you see on television advertising those perfect pair of jeans? You see the girl in the dressing room, effortlessly zipping up the cool set of bootlegs and smiling at herself in the mirror. *cough* I'm sorry, but is there any girl out there who's REALLY tried on a pair of jeans without that exceptionally uncomfortable 'dressing room dance', as I like to call it? You wriggle, you lay down, you land yourself in a split, and you still can't get that damn zipper to zip. By the time you're standing in front of that mirror observing, you're red-faced, panting, and pissy, and you don't even WANT them anymore.

To conclude... I shan't be ordering that taco from Jack in the Box again for a while. That is, until the ad lures me back in for another hopeful go-round.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A good end to a bad night.

I started off my night at work for my first of my last 3 shifts at the hospital. I had a patient that was new admission right before my shift that had some really severe heart conditions, but was being admitted for RSV. She was 7 months old and was born with a heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot and on top of that she had Mitral valve stenosis, Pulmonary Stenosis, GERD, Short Gut Syndrome and i think there were a few others I can't remember. Just getting report on this kiddo sent me into a panic. The cardiac kiddos are not the forte of the nurses where I work because we tend to be more respiratory, but because this baby had RSV she had to come to our side. RSV is hard enough on a "normal" kid, but it was really hard on this little pumkin. I had orders that I needed to try and maintain her oxygen saturations greater than 60%. That isn't very much oxygen, but this kiddo didn't even want to keep them that high. Her sats would drop into the 40's at the beginning of my shift and she was making me a nervous wreck. So about an hour into my shift the charge nurse came up to me and told me that one of the other nurses really wanted to work tonight to try and the bonus offered at the hospital for nurses who would pick up an extra shift per pay period, so she asked if I wanted to be there. With the night I was having it was not a difficult question. I said I was more than willing to go home and let Monica come work for me. So I stated til 12 to get my patients settled giving monica report at about 1130 and then I was on my way home. I had slept all day so i am up for the night, but it was a good excuse for me to get some stuff done. So it was great, I got to give my bathroom the over due major scrubbing it needed, hit up my elliptical for a nice 30 minute jog. What started off as a busy stressful night at work has ended with me relaxing on the couch, folding a little laundry of my roommates that she left in the dryer when she went to bed, and catching up on some tv shows. There is always work again tonight, but at least I got this break in the mean time. Now only 2 shifts left and I am done with the hospital for good!

Monday, January 12, 2009

He rubbed me the wrong way

I was relaxing at home this evening after watching the CES broadcast with my new roommate Melissa. She had gone to bed early because she starts her internship with Cooper Aerobic Institute. So I was relaxing by my fire and watching a movie and I decided to update a few pictures on my ldsplanet site. While I was logged on, this guy popped up on the instant messenger feature they have.
So he starts talking to me and decides to quiz me about myself. Asking about my eye color. He even asked me if my eyes sparkle. I told him i wasn't sure how one would know if their eyes "sparkled" and he told me that maybe someone had told me that before. This guy was very "special" but sadly it got better. He then proceeded me ask me if i knew what my role would be as a "christian wife." I told him that I am not sure I understood what he meant by these specific roles. He told me if I was "good in the church" I would know that the scriptures have set out specific roles for men and women. To which he told me that the woman was to maintain the household raise the children and teach them the ways of the Lord. And that the mans role as Head of the household was to lead and rule over the family and that the wife should respect that. He even went as far to say that there is a scripture that says the wife should refer to the husband as Lord because that is what he is over the household. When I told him that my opinion was that while I agree with what he was talking about, I do believe that there is a lot of sharing that goes on in these responsibilities. As the head of the house hold, the man can still assist in the duty's of the christian mother. He said that he agreed that the man as the head of the household should be like Christ and serve but again he emphasized that it should be made known that he is doing so as the head of the household.

This guy not only found some fabulous buttons to push that really got my blood boiling, but really made me realized why he was in fact a divorced 32 year old. While he did have the idea right. He had read the concepts, but I told him that I believe that he may have taken a few things a tad too literally and ran with it. I told him that maybe sharing his interpretation with others may help to understand how a few things were slightly askew. I reminded him that he had the main idea right, but the attitude that went with it, and the demanding that the man should be the in essence "ruler" really rubbed me the wrong way.


Saturday, January 10, 2009


Every now and then we get kids on the floor that are so sick that their mental status becomes altered. Such is the case of one of my patients tonight. He's a 17 year old that had the flu, strep and pneumonia that took a medication for it that they think caused hallucinations and eventually he got renal failure. They aren't exactly sure the chain of events and what has caused what part, but the kid is SICK. And he definitely isn't there most of the time. At the beginning of my shift the respiratory therapist was trying to get him to take his breathing treatment, so his mom was trying to wake him up since he tends to go ballistic if you try and put a mask on him. So she woke him up and told him he was going to need to open his mouth to put his mouth piece in, to which he replied, "Not right now mom im in the shower." Trying to keep a straight face I continue to listen as his mom tells him, no you aren't in the shower right now honey, so I need you to open your mouth. Again he replies, "I said I was coming!" His poor mother told him that she knew he was coming but that he really wasn't in the shower so he just needed to wake up and open his mouth. Then the immediate need struck that had to go the bathroom and he had to go NOW. His mother took to action trying to unhook all of his monitors and get him to the bathroom, but he hadn't even made it a foot before he said he couldn't wait he couldn't wait and began peeing everywhere. This was just the start of my shift. This poor kid has been like this for days. The night before he was up for 4 hours because he was hallucinating that there were rats in his room. Sometimes hes at the library. But hes never in the hospital, that part we know for sure.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I had to share

We got a kick at work watching this little adorable girl! LOL she has got Beyonce DOWN!

Have a happy period

I don't know if there was even such a letter written, but this letter was sent to me by a friend and it had me rolling so hard, I just HAD to share it. Sorry if some of you don't like it, but I know how crazy us women can get during our periods but this just takes the cake.

A Letter to Brand Manager Proctor and Gamble

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?

Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my 'time of the month' is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags,and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's balls into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f---ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to
end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out out of your a**, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong'? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending crap. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

What A Girl Wants

A friend and I were discussing relationships the other night. He seems to be fed up with relationships and always getting hurt so he has decided that for 2009 he is going to take a more "love em and leave em" approach to dating. Just use them for what you need and leave before you get hurt. While I can see where he is coming from, the desire to not have your heart broken. However I know that there is so much more out there to have. And that is what I want. I want love, and I am willing to risk the heart breaks, as painful as they are, to find that love. There is someone out there who knows how to love me, the journey is just long. But someday...

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
16. Kiss her unexpectedly.
17. Hug her from behind around the waist.
18. Tell her she's beautiful.
19. Tell her the way you feel about her.
20. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
21. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it.
22. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her
23. Make her feel loved.
24. Don't lie to her.
25. Don't cheat on her.
26. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
27. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
28. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.
29. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
30. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
31. Stand up for her when others put her down
32. When walking next to each other grab her hand
33. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible
34. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams
35. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
36. Take her for walks at night.
37. Always Remind her how much you love her.

LOVE Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, January 5, 2009

2009: Even better housekeeping

Last year -- that would be 2008 -- was my big "clean-up" year. Everyone probably has at least one of those. I ended my relationship; in retrospect, it was doomed, but I would only learn why much later. See, I turn into one big optimistic goof when it comes to love, at least that is what I found out last year. I am the kind of person who doesn't reads the "warning" labels on medication bottles. Same thing when it came to people. I plunge right in and hope the water's fine.

This particular relationship was unlike any other I had had in the past. I guess you could say I'd made a resolution. I made a conscious decision to do it right, and to do so consciously. For the first time, I didn't promise; I delivered. I rooted myself deeper whenever I felt like walking away. I didn't let disappointment color my perspective. I never asked myself, "What if there's someone better?" I looked to the good stuff in front of me (and yes, there was good) and said, "Okay, this is it. You're the one."

You have to be good with yourself to say, "I'll be there for you through all of it, and I won't let go." That's scary stuff. People blab this when they're wind-surfing the "in lust" phase. But those who actually mean it prove it by simply not quitting. I said and meant all of it. I can't say it took a lot of courage or effort. It didn't. It was a matter of tendering "love" as an action verb, not just a feeling.

And yet, it failed miserably and ridiculously -- because there are always the exceptions that are beyond control. Love is strong, but it's no miracle worker. I leapt before I looked. I chose the wrong person to bestow these very important gifts. It would be a simple fix for me to tell you, "Oh, he was awful, a terrible, terrible person," but that statement is easily rendered irrelevant; we all have a choice in which situations we place ourselves. Playing victim is a child's game. I am accountable for my choices. All of them.

There were other lessons.

History matters. Examine a person's life. Note recurring themes. By the time someone reaches a certain stage, they're locked and loaded. If all their relationships played out the same way with little variance, you can cross your fingers and wish on every star, but you're not going to be the exception.

Love outside the box. Take a chance on someone you normally would never consider. Eliminating rigid standards you've established for your "perfect person" is a great way to measure your ability to love unconditionally.

Is communication always possible? You'd think so. Consider astronomy. The stars whisper to us from light years away; they tell us all about their size, their properties, about their little star friends hanging out nearby. If the stars can speak and we can understand them, the sky's the limit, right? But then there's the dysfunctional array. No matter how many ways you rearrange the words or appeal to a sense of empathy or fairness, the message isn't received. At that point u gotta know when to stop talking.

Here's the important one. It's easy to fall in lust; in lust can blind you. But the person who's a one-of-a-kind won't just jump into your arms. Think about how foolish a person is to claim unconditional love almost instantly. They don't know you. Sure, you know that you're great, but they have only your word on that. Why should they take your word when they don't know you? The worthy one walks around you several times, scopes you out, figures out if you're worthy, too. Remember the Little Prince's fox? You tame the good. That's how people make themselves special -- by holding out just for you.

Looking back on 2008, what used to look like a monument to Love often seems like a house on moving day, littered with fast-food containers, empty soda cans, and uneaten food festering with mold. I know I did good work, because it was genuine. It was for the right reasons. But too much got tossed into the donation pile. The primary reason I started blogging a few years ago was to find out who Rachel was, aside and apart of anyone else. What's rattling around in my head? What do I want to do? Who am I -- what do I have to say about this? At the beginning of 2008, I didn't know the answer to any of these questions and I may not have ALL the answers now but I'm moving in the right direction. Many of my friends have helped me move out of the debris and move forward. It wasn't an easy time for me, but some how I think I have come out an even better person. I now realize that I really am capable of love. But not just love but I can love harder and deeper than I thought possible. So now all I can do is look towards the future.

Sunday, January 4, 2009


Tonight my friend Monica and I had a girls night. We had fun as always. We had dinner, ice cream and we managed to squeeze in two movies. The first of two we say was Seven Pounds.

seven pounds Pictures, Images and Photos
This was a simply amazing movie! Had me feeling emotions I was not prepared to feel. It was thought provoking, emotional and a fabulous performance by Will Smith And Rosario Dawson.

The Second was Marley and Me. Photobucket I have read the book. And I LOVED the book. There was so much I could relate to having a lab myself. There are many characteristics that Marley possessed that I can see in my dog Daisy. The movie was amazing! It is definitely something that everyone needs to see. It was fun to see the book come to life. While there were many details about Marley that were covered in the book it still is one for eveyone to love.

"What I really wanted to say was how this animal had touched our souls and taught us some of the most important lessons od our lives. 'A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours,' I wrote. "Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things- a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty"

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Double Agent


I remember back in the day when Shahna would have girls from the ward over to watch Alias. It seemed like several people would go, but I hadn't ever watched the show so it was too late for me to start. I always remember them going on and on and on about how awesome the show was. So last year I got the first season as a gift by request, and I was hooked. Talk about right up my alley. I have mentioned before that I LOVE LOVE LOVE movies/shows where females kick butt. And that is just what this show brings! Action, betrayal, disguises, mystery. Its great! I know im so behind on this bandwagon, but better late than never right? I took a long break from watching the shows and then I forgot where I was. I watched like 5 repeat episodes and now im back on track. Im half way through season 4 and there are twists and turns around every corner. Amazing! Its a great treat for when its after 4am and u still can't sleep!


Friday, January 2, 2009

You belong with me

Once upon a time I was in the situation of being in love with a friend. Year after year I watched as he would date others and they would make him happy for a time and then break his heart and I would be the one he would come to when things feel apart. I was always the one to help pick up the pieces and mend the broken heart knowing I would never be the one that actually held his heart.
I knew I wasn't his type, or at least what I thought was his type. I was just the friend. I would never be the girlfriend. But I always wished that he would see that I really was the one that knew all about him. I was the one that supported him and was there when he needed me. He was my one person that everyone got compared to. No one would ever be good enough until I let him go. Until I moved on. And so I did. I had to, I had to leave him in my past so that I could possibly have a future. But this song by Taylor Swift rings so true. Its exactly something I would have thought to myself. I have to laugh when listening to it, because that was me so many years ago. Its a tough place to be, but guys are stupid. They never see whats right in front of them.

Taylor Swift
You Belong With Me

You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do...
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'

But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
You belong with me
You belong with me

I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong
I think I know it's with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with

You belong with me...

Disney's falsehood

fairytale Pictures, Images and Photos

Thanks to Disney, girls starting at a young age have been fed these fairy tales of falsehood. If we believe what Disney has taught us, we all have a glass slipper. We are just waiting for the handsome knight on his white horse to come charging up to us, slip on the magic slipper, it will be the perfect fit and we will ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
waiting for a perfect man Pictures, Images and Photos

The problem with that is if we wait around our whole lives from someone else to come along and make us happy we are NEVER going to be happy.
We girls get a certain idea of romance and love and “Prince Charming” from these movies, and when we go out into the real world, we find there are no “Prince Charmings”, no movie-perfect, happily-ever-after loves, and romance always has its downside.
It’s Newton’s laws of motion as applied to our love lives—for every action, there is an equal an opposite reaction, where in this case the action is all the good warm-fuzzies, and the reactions are the practical, non-romantic, real-world side of things. We learn to expect certain things from watching these movies. We want the happily ever after; we want the relationship where everything always turns out all right in the end; we want “true love” and the “perfect man”—and when we find they don’t exist in the real world, we’re very, very disappointed.
We set our standards too high, and are left not knowing what to do about real-world relationships. We get stranded in movie-land, with a cardboard, cartoon Prince Charming, and no idea how to go about dealing with real people, real relationships, real life—with all its flaws, where there is no real happily ever after.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to happy with real relationships, but rather that we’re never going to be happy at all until we learn to look past the fluff and fancy of Disney movies and chick flicks and deal with how love really is, how life really is, and how men really are. Fluff and fancy have their place, but they shouldn’t be our guides and standards. It’s time for a reality check when it comes to love.
I have been listening to my new Taylor Swift CD, and she has a song on there called white horse that got me to all this thinking. It is slowly becoming on of my new favorite songs. But there is this part of the song that really rings true:

"I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

2009 Pictures, Images and Photos

I have decided that 2009 is going to be my year. I have had enough of sitting back waiting for my time to come and I have decided that I am going to have to do what it takes to make 2009 my year. For starters I have gone and gotten myself a new job. While I love working in the hospital and love the children whos lives I get to touch, I don't love the being gone for 14 hours at a times, being up all night, working all holidays, and always having to work weekends. So with the encouragement of family and friends I have gone out and found myself another job.
Starting on January 19th I am going to be working for Caprock home health agency. They are just opening up their Richardson location and are trying to get it up and running without having to operate under the staffing of the Abilene office. I am their first RN staff nurse they have hired for this location. I will be going to the homes of new patients as they get them and assessing them and formulating a plan of care. As far as I understand I will also be assisting in some classes they are doing for kids with forms of mental retardation such as down syndrome or cerebral palsey. I have been informed that there will be a lot of driving and a lot of paperwork involved in the job. But I am looking forward to not be involved in the physical grunt work of taking care of a patient because my bad back just cannot handle anymore of it. After working for this company for 3 months I will be able to get a company car, and they pay for my medical and dental benifits, so that will be nice. I am looking forward to this, hopefully this will be just the change I need to start my year off right.

Hope everyone's new year was wonderful! Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. It really does mean a lot, I love your comments! It makes writing more worth while.


When I was about 7 years old my parents moved us into my great grandpas old house. This house was a site to see, it was originally supposed to be a chicken coup but instead was converted into a small, and I mean SMALL house. My parents gave the kids (I guess that would be me and Sharon) the option. We could move into a house that was far away from the city that may be a bit bigger or we could move into this house and we could get a trampoline AND a swing set. So of course you can guess what we chose. So back to the house...
This house was a one bedroom house. The carport had been converted into a second bedroom and that is where the 3 girls (Me, Sharon and Lauralee) slept. We lived there for 3 years. We all started out in the same bed and eventually moved into bunk beds. Looking back on the pictures I now see just how small this house was. The back half of the roof slanted so hard that my dad couldn't walk into his room and stand up straight without hitting his head. Same went with the bathroom, there were no showers to be had by the grown ups. You couldn't stand in the tub. The funny part about all this, is some of my best memories as a child were in that house. We got a 3 wheeler and we had fun riding that thing around our house. One of my friends tried riding it one time and clothes lined herself on the trampoline. Guess she lost control of it. We had a rhubarb plants in our backyard and we loved picking those and eating them. So tart! We loved having dance contests on the trampoline. It was a great age where you danced to the words of a song and reenact them. Sharon and I had best friends that were sisters and the 4 of us always tried to con my dad into picking a dance contest winner. But he was wise and never would. He would place us in our separate age categories and make us all winners of that age. It used to make us so mad!
I have since gone back to see this house. Its so run down now. The 30-40 foot pine tree in the front yard is gone, the large row of rose bushes up the walk-way are gone. The yard is dead. Its quite sad. It still makes me laugh though, we lived in a house that was supposed to be a chicken coup. And we loved it!MEMORIERS? Pictures, Images and Photos