Broken

Don't hang up, can't we talk
So confused it's like I'm lost
What went wrong, what made you go
Don't pretend you don't know
This is me I'm unchangable

When did we fall apart
Or did you lie from the start
When you said, it's only you
I was blind, such a fool
Thinking we were unbreakable

[chorus]
It was you and me, against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

[verse 2]
I've been told what's done is done
To let it go and carry on
Deep inside I know that's true
I'm stuck in time, stuck on you
We were still untouchable

[chorus]

[bridge]
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Cause I'm only dreaming
Get out, get out, get out, get out
Get out of my head now
Because we're much better altogether

[chorus] x2
... made me unbeautiful

I know I have it before, that music speaks to me. It speaks emotions that I may not or will not convey. I keep going though the lyrics of this song as I sit here thinking. I wonder to myself where I went wrong, what I did to deserve feeling like this, but I really don't think that "I" did anything, or truly deserve this. So why? When you date someone, someone that you thought you were in love with, that told you they were in love with you and it ends, you would hope for the "sake of the relationship" that it would take at least a few months for the other person to move on. Maybe Im wrong in this, I guess its just what I thought would happen, but I made the mistake of looking on Brian's myspace page tonight. I thought it odd that his comments were hidden, but my sister Amy has taught me how to view hidden comments and I found this comment from a girl saying something like how much she missed him and how she wished he was there cuddling with her right now. So curious I went to her page, everything was hidden on her page as well, but I could again read the comments of him telling her how much he missed her. Then the emotions hit...the girl is 18 as of 10 days ago, Brian will be 29 in January. First thought is nasty! But quickly followed by anger, that is matched with sorrow. I can't explain whats happening to me, its like im right or im wrong and everything is upside down. Everything is spinning around and its freaking me out. I literally felt my stomach and heart hit the floor. Im sick, and im at work, and there is nothing I can do about it. I tried to distract myself, I went to check on my patients, take vital signs, give medications, that took up 20 minutes of my time! Now I have a little over 3 hours left. How could he do this, how can he move on in less than a months time? Apparently im just that easy to get over. I feel as though the band aid has been ripped off. Only this time, it took more skin with it, it hurts and it hurts bad. I can't help but feel angry, bordering on hatred. I don't really hate him but I hate that he made me hurt this bad. They say if you love something let it go, but they never say what to do if it never comes back to you.