It makes me wonder...

I wonder if things are ever supposed to go my way. I want to be happy I really do, but it seems like if its not one thing its another. Here I am excited that I am going to be getting a roommate, and she goes and gets engaged tonight lol. Why yes I am excited that she was able to find that one true one for her, she has lived here for 3 months who would have thought? So she moves in this weekend, for two months, she will be getting married in December. LOL I have to laugh at the irony of the situation, it just seems to be my luck.
I need to find happiness...Everyone grows up having expectations for what their life is going to be like. Rarely does our life ever turn out as planned, but we all still create these expectations for how our life is to play out. Me, for example, I was going to get married at 20 or 21, I was going to have exactly 4-6 children. I was also going to somehow finish school in that amount of time, I was going to have a wonderful husband that was going to make lots of money and I was going to be the perfect stay at home mom with the worlds most fabulous children and life as I knew it was going to be perfect. I know, you are laughing now, but when you are younger you seemed to have an altered perception of how your life is going to turn out when you get older. Then as you get older, you realize that these expectations you had for your life can and are, in no way reality. So then you have to take a step back and re-evaluate. You take a look at the bigger picture, and realize how off based your perception of reality had actually been. Life is always going to be what we make of it. Whether we get married young and have a family or we take the path of a career maybe postponing marriage for the time being, (whether by choice or opportunity) life is what we make of it.
We can choose to be happy with the life we are given, or we can stay at home hating life, and blaming our decisions on others, saying "if only they had not..." or "if only they would..." The grass is always greener on the other side, or at least we are told, so why is that the case? Why can't we have the green grass right here right now? So what if our life doesn't meet the expectations we once had for ourselves! Who's fault is that? HONESTLY...? We can't all have the perfect American lives with our beautiful little houses with the white picket fences and our 2.5 children. ( I am still trying to figure out that .5 children concept by the way) I deal with reality here, and reality is, not everybody has a perfect life. And in that not so perfect life in which we lead, we can make decisions that make us not so happy, or people can say or do things that can make us not so happy. It is very possibly that events to which we have no control over can make us very unhappy. But we CAN choose to surround ourselves with what makes us happy. We CAN create our own pseudo happiness so to speak. Happiness is a choice. No one can make you happy or miserable without your consent. So what if my life hasn't turned out quite the way I had originally planned?!?! It sounds like I need new plans anywho because my first plans weren't so hot, they were non obtainable for me. I need to make new choices or expectations for my life and well maybe you do too? Who knows, but I know that I need to reevaluate my life. I choose to be happy. I choose not to worry about my future, and I'm not going to dwell in my past. I'm going to try to eliminate worry, and minimize stress, what good does it do after all? Countless individuals go through their days in fear of the unknown, or in anger, sadness, or despair. The truth is that even though you cannot control all the events in your life, you do have control over how happy you feel. It takes a lot of energy to choose to be happy. The path of least resistance is to be miserable, in fact. It's far easier to mope and complain about circumstances and other people instead of deciding to be content with your life. When you choose to be happy, you are deciding to be a beacon of optimism that will affect not only your own immediate environment but also other people with whom you come into contact each day. I say its time to be self centered for a while, its time to be HAPPY! If you are a person in which happiness doesn't come easily, then I say go by my motto, "fake it til you make it." No one else truly knows your thoughts or your feelings, only you do, so no one else knows you don't feel happy. So why not let your outside display happiness and soon maybe your insides will match. But what exactly is happiness? Wikipedia says that happiness is this: "Happiness is emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy. This definition is, however, a synonymous one rather than one based on analytic evaluation, because of the varied and elusive nature of happiness."
But why does that have to be the case, why does happiness have to be elusive? Why isn't it just something that everyone is entitled to? I know the way the world is today it makes it hard to be happy. It seems like everything that can and will go wrong in our lives does. It seems like some days you are doing good just to make it through the day without killing anyone. This "prayer" depicts it all...

Dear God,

So far today, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper. I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish. But in a few minutes, God, Im going to get out of bed and thats when im going to need a lot of help. Amen

I think happiness has to be something we choose. No matter what our circumstances, we have to choose to be happy. Life throws many things at us, but whether we stumble and fall is not what matters. If we fall down 16 times we just have to get up one more time than we fall. I think many of us these days have a hard time remembering what we have to be thankful for. I struggle with this concept on a daily basis, its really easy to only see all the negatives in life and forget to look to the positive. Happiness is a choice and the road to happiness is straight ahead, anyone care to join me?

Happiness to me is... (in no particular order)

1. Putting on an old pair of jeans and finding you somehow left money in the pocket.
2. Laughing so hard you cry
3. Having true friends you know are with you til the end
4. Eating your favorite food and not caring how many calories are in it, only that it tasted sooooo good
5. Text messaging
6. Taking silly pictures to remember all the great times you have had
7. Changing my hair color, this always makes me happy
8. Staring up at the vast great sky, and knowing that we are not alone in this universe.
9. Loving someone, and them loving you back.
10. Fitting into a pair of jeans that you once had outgrown
11. Chocolate
12. The smell of rain
13. My dogs
14. Blogging
15. A new crush, and that giddy maybe he likes me but im not sure phase.

These things and many more are what make me happy, what about you?