Ah, the holidays.
Nothing brings out the nosy-pushy questions from family members like a little turkey and some mistletoe.
If you're married and know single people around age of 30, let me tell ya, nothing -- I mean NOTHING -- makes us dread the holidays or any family gathering more than your darn questions.
'You're not married yet?'
'Are you seeing someone?'
'When are you going to stop being so picky and settle down?'
It's like having to pass a pop quiz on your life just to get to the dinner table. I'm not quite sure the goofy Christmas sweater you're going to buy us is worth the inquisition. Maybe get us something that...oh, I don't know...looks appealing to the opposite sex.
While most of us love to meet Mr. Right tomorrow morning, we're doing exactly what most people would advise. We are focusing on their own lives, our careers, bettering ourselves. We aren't on some mad, desperate pursuit to snag some unsuspecting guy and tie him down. We are living life and if the right one comes along, so be it.
But aunts and cousins and sisters don't quite get that. They are married with kids and grandkids and they can't fathom why anyone would want a different life than that. The message comes across a little like this: A woman is SUPPOSED to be married with kids. If she doesn't do that, what good is she? What function can she possibly be serving in society?
And how can she possibly be happy?
She has friends, a busy social life. She has a career she loves, owns her own home, and has plenty of money in the bank. Sure, she gets lonely sometimes, but most nights she comes home, exhausted from work, and does exactly what she wants, when she wants. She answers to no one.
On the other hand, she could work all day and come home, exhausted, with still HOURS of work left to go. There's homework to get done, dinner to cook, laundry to sort, kids to bathe, clothes to lay out for the next day... WHEW! I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
Of course, I'd love to have that life someday. When the opportunity arises. In the meantime, just how many family inquisitions am I going to have to endure?
'Are you married yet?'
'How about now?'
'Now?'
8 comments:
Oh, Rachel, tell them to "stuff it!" You've got the whole rest of eternity for marriage!
LOl thanks Noelle, you sure are up late!
I know - I'm about to turn into a pumpkin. I just spent the last 4 hours taking my last final of the semester. I am wound up right now - even though I'm exhausted!
My home is an inquisition free zone. Feel free to visit anytime!! We would love to have you! :)
You could always come back with things like this:
When are you gonna lose those 25 pounds you're packing?
Why are you asking me all these questions, do you want me to be as miserable as you are?
Oh, I don't know? Maybe I'll get married when you get some tact.
Sorry Rachel, I could do this all day, it's so fun. I'll stop now, I guess none of those responses are too kind are they? Oh well, I say an inconsiderate question deserves a snarky reply! :)
Love you girl!!
I have a question for ya Rachel... when are we gonna go eat Japanese food, uh??
Hey I'm glad you posted this blog.. I was actually gonna ask you all those questions myself! ;)
Oh goodness, I know exactly how you feel! I actually made Kelsie cry last week about this whole situation. I got the "Are you ever gonna get married?" And I responded with "I don't know. Are you ever gonna stop asking that question?" Then she ran off crying saying I hurt her feelings and I felt bad for about 2 seconds but then I remembered how sick I am of hearing that question lol.
Tiff, my sister, is dealing with the same thing. But most of the questions are coming from my parents, well, mostly my mom. I even had to have a talk with my mom to tell her to back off! I am married with kids and even I wonder what life would be like for me right now if I weren't married with kids. I do sometimes wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. But I don't think I can give up my companionship with BJ to even try it out!
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