I have an extreme love/hate relationship with my elliptical machine. While I am very keenly aware of the benefits, somehow im still just not itching to jump on the thing. 30 minutes, its not a very long time. Its the amount of time of a Friends Episode, or my choice, half of Ellen or an episode of What I like about you. So whats not to like? Its good for my health, its good for my waist. I put my elliptical machine in my room for a reason, I can watch tv while doing it. It seems like ive set up the perfect situation and yet I find myself dragging my feet day after day. But why...I feel so accomplished when im done, i can't stop til I reach at least 2.5 miles and its great.As im writing this, it reminds me of something that I wrote when I was 19 in my sophomore college English class. It was entitled "Striving for a better me." Why is it that in order to look good on the outside I have to put my body through so much torture and pain? I started a diet today and so far I am doing well. It is going to start kicking in when I realize all the things that I am giving up. All this to somewhat better myself and to possibly please the opposite sex. No one really seems to care that I have a great personality or that I am really fun to be around. those are qualities that they would to find out later, however I have to look good for them to approach me. The perfect woman in today's society has the perfect size two body, with perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect breasts, perfect everything. Its a lot for anyone to live up to and it doesn't seem possible.
It never seems enough to "be myself," but rather I must be better than myself. I am sure it is a good thing to strive to be better, but I am sure that my reasons for doing this are all wrong. I just so frustrated with the concept that I have to look "perfect" to get a date around here. I have to go to a lot of work just to get a break in life. Someday I just want to move to Tonga where it is beautiful for the women to be big. All the men would like me and I would have to fight them off with a stick.
6 comments:
Tonga huh...you want to be a 7 cow wife! :)
It's true though...guys don't have to go through near as much crap as we do!
Second that!
Been doing my treadmill consistently for 5 weeks now 3-4 times a week for 30 minutes and I am loving it. I am so glad I finally committed and am establishing a good habit. I am not "dieting" though because I could never stick to one, but I am watching how much I eat and when I eat, and have cut out more "bad" foods. I am doing this for ME. BJ thinks I look fine and loves the junk in my trunk but I feel better when I look better in my clothes and fit better in them and don't have to keep buying bigger sizes (which is what I have been doing since kids) and I don't want to end up like an obese adult like my mom, I already have too many of her genes. But I do hear what you are saying on your post and find it hard and frustrating at times. Life's a bitch has been my motto lately.
The way I figure it, the people who love you will love you no matter what and the ones who don't.. well.. don't matter much at all :) You're doing great, I'm so proud of you!!
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