Saturday, December 6, 2008

Nursing Humor

I think I have been at this whole nursing thing long enough to agree with the experienced nurse point of view. But I do remember thinking everything was so cool when I first graduated school. Boy how that disappeared in a hurry.


A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does.

An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.


A graduate nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.

An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.


A graduate nurse charts too much.

An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.


A graduate nurse loves to run codes.

An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.


A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.

An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.


A graduate nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.


A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.


A graduate nurse can hear a beeping pump at 50 yards.

An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.


A graduate nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

An experienced nurse doesn't even want to hear about them unless the patient is symptomatic.


A graduate nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.


A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses.

An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.


A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.

An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.


A graduate nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family".

An experienced nurse avoids the family.


A graduate nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.

An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.


A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.


A graduate nurse always answers their phone.

An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.


A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.

An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.


A graduate nurse carries reference books in their bag.

An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch and some "cough syrup" in their bag.


A graduate nurse doesn't find this funny.

An experienced nurse does.

5 comments:

Morgan said...

These are great! Maybe I'm more experienced than I give myself credit for... :)

Katie

Lauralee Altice said...

I find it funny and I'm not a nurse at all! i loved it!

Anonymous said...

You crack me up, Rachel! Hey, Thursday's the big day!

Amanda Idell said...

HA HA HA HA HA I love this!! I seriously avoid answering my pages or pretent I didnt hear it LOL.

Holls said...

These are super funny!! I'm with Lou, I'm not a nurse but I laughed my butt off. Although sometimes I think I know more than the nurses do in some of these hospitals....*shakes head* lol You know what I'm talking about lol.