The Big Girl Panties Are Kinda Scratchy

"Grow up!"

At some point in time, you heard it too. From your parents or a teacher, maybe a significant other or a husband or wife. Maybe one of your closest friends lost patience with you and said it out of frustration. Oh, just grow up already!

What does that mean to you, to "grow up?" To have achieved a state where you can handle your own life with the least drama and distraction? Some might suggest that the meat and potatoes of being a grown-up are financial independence -- you have your own place, a job and resultant paycheck, and hopefully health coverage. Bills get paid on time, and your credit's good. You file your taxes and suck it up when you owe Uncle Sam. You can complain about all if this, but you act like a grown-up, because to do otherwise is unwise.

In other words, your life isn't a drag on others. You're not a "dependent" anymore. I suppose that could be considered "grown up." I have never really prided myself on being called a "grown-up" and many of you who know me know that I reserve the right to act like a child every now and then, and sometimes it may be more often than I should. However, all and all I think I have reached the point where my responsibilities creep up everywhere and I can no longer deny that I am in fact a grown up. I used to tell myself that once I was married, I would then in fact be a "grown up." However I am going to be 29 in a matter of 2 months, and I really can't wait for that "excuse." Besides, I know a lot married people, who are more of child than my 12 year old sister.

However being a grown up is not strictly a financial thing or reaching a certain age thing. Part of growing up is being able to say your sorry, and realize that you have made a mistake, (whether intentionally or unintentionally) and someone got hurt. Its taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that you are not always going to be right. And sometimes even when you are without a doubt "right", being the bigger person, and bowing out of an argument when you realize no solution is ever going to be reached.

I think that growing up means realizing that the "way you are" does not have to be permanent. You can always change! You CAN become a better house keeper, you CAN learn to mellow out. You CAN learn to make a list, and you CAN learn to go without. You CAN learn to be a little more laid back, or you CAN learn to take life a little more seriously. Just because you are a certain way now, does not mean that you cannot learn to change. Part of being a grown up is being flexible for change. Maybe the way you have learned to do things is not necessarily the best way to do it, or the one that will bring the most happiness to you and those around you. Growing up may mean that there will be change.

I think that growing up means remembering you once said, I love you and that you meant it, no matter how things ended. Being a grown-up, too, means having a really good memory when it comes to the person who stood by you in all those bad times. Grown-ups don't cheat. Well, they do, but they're not being grown-ups when they do it.

I think that growing up means being able to say "I don't know." And letting go of that child-ego that made you feel as though everything you thought and believed was not only right, but indeed fact.

I hate having to be a grown-up, I really do! I hate cleaning house and doing laundry (I swear I just did it YESTERDAY, why does it have to be done again!?!). I hate paying my bills and balancing my money to make sure all my bills get paid and on time. I really hate taking DVDs back to the video store on time. Blockbuster knows that in certain cases they will have to call me 2 or 3 times, and in some cases, they will just have to charge my card, I might as well just keep the movie....

But the hardest part about growing up is the change that has to occur inside that tells you how to live sensibly and diligently, with compassion and fairness to the others (even when you don't get it back in return). Sometimes it's comes naturally, but often, you have to sit down and ask yourself, "Am I handling this like a mature adult?" That's always a tough one to answer. The internal "grow up!" command we give ourselves is sort of like eating your mental and emotional carrots. They suck, but they're good for your "vision". LOL Being a grown up is not always a fun thing to do, but it is the RIGHT thing to do.

I'd hate to think that everyone was truly "grown-up" all the time. That would be boring, wouldn't it? Everyone should run, when they want to, ride bikes, eat Twinkies, watch cartoons on Saturday morning, if that floats their boat. There are nonthreatening ways of being delightfully childlike to the people around you. The key word here being child"like" not childish.

But at the end of the day (or the night), we're all grown-ups again. Because we know, childhood is over and gone.