Please Listen

It is an age old problem that you hear complained about everywhere, that men don't understand women. Its not a new subject, but what I find funny about the whole ordeal is that in all reality women don't truly understand themselves and there in lies the problem. Its difficult for someone else to grasp the concept of what women want, if in fact, that they don't know themselves. Its very typical for a woman to say one thing, but truly want something else. Its also very typical for a woman to not know what they want, so now matter what happens, its never "what they want." Women also constantly complain that men never listen. I have definitely found my share of men who tend to not listen, but I find that for the most part, these particular men have been around women in their lives who never SHUT UP. I am sure it gets old when listening is all you do, cause she never even takes a breath. Its just "yack yack yack yack, blah blah blah blah" and you really just don't give a crap. Then when there are men who truly do care about what you have to say, and do actually try and listen, then they get yelled at for trying to solve the problems. Men are inherently problem solvers. Us as women cannot come to them with a problem without them coming back at us with every kind of solution that they can come up with. And we get mad, we feel insulted...why is he telling me what to do??? I didn't ask him to tell me what to do, I just wanted him to listen. But guys don't get that this is what we want, and girls don't get that guys need to "fix things." Girls just want a sounding board, just someone to listen as they throw out ideas, complain about work, friends, life, etc. They don't want it fixed. Maybe us girls should follow in my friend monica's footsteps and when she doesn't want someone to solve her problem or give fake sympathy, she tells you upfront. That is what blogs do for me, they are my way of venting, or sounding off, or just getting something out there that is on my mind, and then I can somewhat release some of those emotions that plague me a times. For me, blogging can be an out for me. I was reading some of my old blogs, ones that I had written 2 years ago, and some of them are very angry, and very emotional. For a long time that is what blogging was for me, it was my release. But when I don't blog, I will occasionally talk to others, and its ok if you don't know the right thing to say, its ok if you don't have the answers, its not what I want. If I want answers, I will come seeking advice, you will know that is what I am looking for. Sometimes you just need a friend, a friendly face to listen, cause sometimes that is all you need. Thats one of the great things men can be for women, they are our rock, our strength, our comfort. And that is why we turn to them to tell our problems to, so they can listen and tell us no matter what everything is going to be ok. And then women have their girlfriends.



Girlfriends are vital for all women. Female friendships are precious commodities for women. Whether their girlfriends are married or single, mothers or childless, they are the people that we find our precious moments of relief with. We can let down our hair. We can let down our guard. We can be selfish. We can crack jokes. We can be ourselves and relax. As women, we experience a unique emotional connection with our female friends that is very different from the intimacy and emotional connection we feel with our significant others. They can tell us jokes. They can listen to our stories. We need our girlfriends. The need for these social connections does not minimize our other relationships by any measure - but we need all of these relationships for different reasons. I guess what I'm trying to say is while men may never understand what we want, and for that same matter we may never figure out what we want, thank goodness for the people we have in our lives who love us for who we are and make our lives so much better for the living.