I want a kiss

A real deep heart felt kiss
Not the ones you give your kids (that motherly one)
Not the ones you get from your mama
I want a kiss

You know the ones your grandma use to give you on you cheeks that's wet... no not that kind of kiss
I want a real kiss
Not the ones that get all sloppy
Not the one a man give you when he's trying to figure out if your in the mood
No ... not that kiss
I want a kiss

Not the ones that your dad warned you about getting from a knucklehead
No ... not that kiss
Not the ones that you think u want when u shouldn't
No ... not that one
I want a kiss

You know the one that a single one thinks about
I don't mean a few months single women I mean a year and longer single women
That kiss that you sit and think about that puts a stupid smile on your face
That kiss that makes your whole body tingle
That kiss that doesn't have to involve a tongue but it last minutes
That kiss that you don't want to end that has all the passion in it
Yeah that kiss
I want THAT kiss

Black Friday gone wrong

Sought: Wal-Mart shoppers who trampled NY worker

NEW YORK – Police were reviewing video from surveillance cameras in an attempt to identify who trampled to death a Wal-Mart worker after a crowd of post-Thanksgiving shoppers burst through the doors at a suburban store and knocked him down.

Criminal charges were possible, but identifying individual shoppers in Friday's video may prove difficult, said Detective Lt. Michael Fleming, a Nassau County police spokesman.

Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers stepped over him and became irate when officials said the store was closing because of the death, police and witnesses said.

At least four other people, including a woman who was eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries. The store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.

Police said about 2,000 people were gathered outside the Wal-Mart doors before its 5 a.m. opening at a mall about 20 miles east of Manhattan. The impatient crowd knocked the employee, identified by police as Jdimytai Damour, to the ground as he opened the doors, leaving a metal portion of the frame crumpled like an accordion.

"This crowd was out of control," Fleming said. He described the scene as "utter chaos," and said the store didn't have enough security.

Dozens of store employees trying to fight their way out to help Damour were also getting trampled by the crowd, Fleming said. Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store.

Damour, 34, of Queens, was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead around 6 a.m., police said. The exact cause of death has not been determined.

A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital, where she and the baby were reported to be OK, said police Sgt. Anthony Repalone.

Kimberly Cribbs, who witnessed the stampede, said shoppers were acting like "savages."

"When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling `I've been on line since yesterday morning,'" she said. "They kept shopping."

Is it ever worth all this just to save a few dollars???

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope that everyone got to have a fabulous Thanksgiving and ate enough food to make them throw up. I am the lucky person that works in a hospital that is open 365 days a year. So I worked last night and Im working tonight. Not exactly what I would call a good time. I did wake up early today and went over to my parents for some fabulous before kicking and screaming on my way into work that i had to go in. LOL I know real mature huh?

But really at this time of year I am reminded of how thankful I am for the things I have in my life. I am so thankful for my family and friends and those who enrich my life every day by being in it. Thank you for everything, I love you guys!

Beautifully Disaster

She loves her momma's lemonade
Hates the sounds that goodbyes make
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her
She swears that there's no difference between the lies and compliments
It's all the same if everybody leaves her

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She's giving boys what they want
Tries to act so nonchalant
Afraid to see that she's lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she'll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection

She's not a drama queen
She doesn't wanna feel this way

She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She's just the way she is
But no one's told her that's OK

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

Do you ever wish that you could be a person who leaves logic out of life and just functions on what their heart tells them to do? That you could throw caution to the wind and just take a flying leap off a pier and just have faith that you are going to land on a giant cloud. That everything you hoped for would be there, that it would just be...I dunno perfect? We build up these walls to keep out pain, and we cling to them closely knowing that they bring us comfort. For without them, we become vulnerable and exposed. So you wait....and wait....and wait. You wait for the right moment, the right time the right whatever. Nobody's perfect. If they think they are, they are highly mistaken. So we wait and wonder if we are doing alright and someone out there will notice us for all that we are, all that we have, and all that we can give. You wait and wonder.

What we want you to know

Its been a bit since I have blogged. Its been a pretty crazy week and I didn't want that to spill over onto my blog. I know I know, that is supposed to be a point of a blog, but this time I wanted to sit this one out. So I just finished working out and its 3am. I usually do 2.5 miles on the elliptical but this time I decided to push myself and I was able to make it to 4 miles. It wasn't a sprint, I didn't do a 7 minute mile, but heck I did it in almost 43 minutes. That's a 10.5 minute mile, its not horrible right? After that it was a bowl of All Bran Strawberry Medley. That's some pretty good stuff.

But anywho enough about that, onto what I going to blog about for tonight...



Its a pretty accurate description. While I don't believe that it describes every guy and every girl, it gives a pretty good idea of just how off balance the whole thing is. Girls can be pretty complicated, and some guys spend their whole lives trying to figure things out while others just give up. But there are some more things that girls just want/need. I will let you in on a few of those things and since 98% of those who read this are girls, y'all can let me know how I did and what I missed.

What girls want guys to know:

• We will leave if you lie
• We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ears.
• We are terrified of becoming our mothers, even though we admire them.
• We are more forgiving of you than we really should be.
• When we compare our flabby tummies to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
• We are very impressed when you ask for our advice.
• We're in heaven when you hold our hands.
• You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
• We need to hear how you feel about us. Often.
• We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
• It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
• Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
• We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
• We remember everything about our relationship.
• If you have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.
• Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
• When we are upset, hold us close.
• Look into our eyes and smile
• Kiss us on the forehead
• Push us on swings
• We love flowers just because
• Tell us we are beautiful
• Its great that you can be the responsible dad, but its fun to see you get down on the floor and play with the kids once in a while. It really makes them happy.

How a new baby can make you a better man

So I was reading articles on msn again, and came across this article called The Newborn Ultimatum. It was a pretty amazing article, so I thought I would share it with you. Not super exciting for my 100th blog, but a pretty good article none the less. (by the way grandma, I hope I wrote enough for you to read for a bit, I had no way of knowing u read this and when, comments let me know people are reading and encourage me to post more!)

The Newborn Ultimatum

How a new baby can make you a better man: By Sam Grobart, Best Life

Not long ago, I became a father for the first time. And since then, I’ve become a better man. Not “a better man” in some hokey, Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets way, but a better man, practically speaking. Besides all the joyful, deeply personal ways fatherhood is a hell of a thing, it has also accorded me some real-world advantages to boot. It’s as if my baby girl has been my own personal Sun Tzu. Here’s how you, too, can use the lessons of fatherhood to master everything else in life.

Talk Less, Listen More. My daughter, Kate, is amazing. Have you seen her point at things? Like an Einstein she points. She can also walk and smile. She is clearly destined for an awards ceremony in Stockholm. There is one sticking point, however: She can’t talk. My daughter is 14 months old. A typical day with her is like the first half hour of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

All this silent time has an adult payoff: I’m a more active, expressive listener. You know that personal quality, usually ascribed to Bill Clinton, in which someone can make you feel as if you’re the only person in the room? Well, apply the rules of dad–kid communication (empathy, laserlike focus, enthusiasm) to adults and you can have them eating out of your hand. Recently, I was interviewing for a new job. You’d be amazed how smoothly an interview can go if you just pretend that your future CEO is a 14-month-old girl.

Keep Your Cool. When you’re at work, it’s not unheard of for someone to describe a lousy situation as a sh*t storm. Well, I’m here to tell you that managing said storm can be a lot easier if you’ve been in a real one. It’s no metaphor, friend. It’s an actual pedioclimatological event.

We’ve all worked with babies, people who live on drama. When facing an obstacle, they just lose it. It’s no reflection of the actual level of peril. Oh, did the server go down? Take it easy, my hyperkinetic IT director. We’ll get the server back up. In minutes, probably. There, there.

Since Kate’s birth, I categorize all things in life into two categories: Things That Can Kill the Baby and Things That Cannot Kill the Baby. Open jug of bleach? Category one. Angry boss? Category two. By dealing with ultimate peril, you are much more calm and collected about all the other nonsense.

Know Your Strength. My daughter, while being the sweetest future MacArthur Fellow you’ll ever meet, has about as much common sense as a bag of Britneys. So, soon after fatherhood takes hold, you start to consider all the angles. If you don’t have a child, you don’t think much about the act of opening a car trunk. When I have Kate in one arm while unlocking the trunk with the other, I’m thinking about where my hand should be, which foot I should put my weight on. My childless friend calls it “dad strength,” something that, he says, comes to all new fathers. It’s true, but it’s not about muscle. I’m just more methodical and more conscious of my movements. I’m like a ninja of incredibly lame things.

Stick to Your Guns. Something happens when you become a dad: You take less crap. Some ticket agent is giving you back talk about your seat assignment? Please. You made a human being! Just hand over the damn boarding pass. You second-guess yourself less. You make a decision and you do it. Not in some foolhardy, Rumsfeldian way, but when you commit, you commit. Keeping your pride and joy from running into the parking lot is not a time to consider the effect it will have on her self-esteem. Things need to be done, and they need to be done now. That’s true on the playground and on the trading floor. Dads are the ultimate CEOs.

Share the Spotlight. Caring for an infant is kind of like being a member of Prince’s entourage or an aide to Kim Jong-Il: You are responsible for anticipating the needs of an irrational person who is completely divorced from reality. You’ll do anything to keep her happy, and so you remove ego from the equation. Sure, I used to be able to go to the movies whenever I wanted, but after a certain point, you have to ask yourself, Is all this me-ness going to make me a better person? Doubtful. For that, you need someone to put you in your place. Zen Buddhism has this concept of mu, or “emptiness,” which often manifests itself in the context of “no self” or “no ego.” I don’t know much else about Zen Buddhism, but I do know this: Whoever came up with mu clearly had some strained peas thrown in his face at some point.

I have grocery store ADD

So I avoid going to walmart at all cost. Not because its ghetto, or anything of that nature. Simply because when I do, I always end up spending way more money than I intended. So I make a trip to lovely walmart, to buy 3 things. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, Brighter Light Bulbs for my ceiling fan in my living room, and Dr Peppers. So I walk in the doors, grab a cart and off I go. First corner I round I see a whole bunch of boxes stacked in the isle. And one is cotton balls. Ooo, I forgot Im totally out of those, turn around go back to the make up station to grab cotton balls. Then I proceed on, heading for the light bulbs...but I pass so much getting there! First I see an end cap with razors on it, ooo my razor is getting kind of dull, I need new blades. And I turn down the razor isle. Oooo there are so many pretty razors, maybe I will just get a new one! Moving on! I find the light bulbs, and then continue on down the isle and find fire starter logs. I have some firewood now, and they don't catch fire that easy, so I definitely need a box of those. Now onto the back of the store for the movie...easily found, now to the other side of the store for milk. But first to stop at the air fresheners. I am pretty sure mine were running low. 2 air freshener refills, easily done. But then I see they have air freshener that is a night light. And I remember that Val wanted me to get her a night light for when the next time she comes to visit. So I turn around and go look through the baby section, but they don't have them, so back to the air fresheners, I will just get that.
This is the kind of crap I do when I go to walmart. That was only about half my shopping experience. It continued on though the store. And by the time I was done, I had spend $80. I am so ADD when I go to the store, I shouldn't be allowed to go. I always find things I need. Its not like im really buying junk per say, I just keep finding things. Walmart is EVIL!!!

Music makes me lose control

Music makes me happy! There is so much that can be expressed through song. I think that there are so many songs that express how I feel, even better than I can. As in the post secret I wrote about, there was one that says "Where words fail, music speaks. Songs can make me laugh, they can make me smile, they can even at many times make me cry. To love me is to love music, because I love music. I love listening to many different kinds of music, they all inspire me and move me in some way or another. Songs make you want to sing, they make you want to dance, or do anything that makes you happy. There is this song called Just Dance. And I loved it! She says "Just Dance. Its going to be ok." Those words just hit me, and its so true. Dance, it really is going to be ok! The other song that really has hit me hard lately is Leona Lewis's "Better in Time." She says that she is going to smile because she deserves it. HOW TRUE THAT IS? I need to smile, and I do deserve it!



Song lyrics as I have said before always speak to me. There is not a situation in life where I can't find a song that "works" for that situation. I have always loved the song Affirmation by Savage Garden, and thought the words to be true, even though I hadn't experienced them before. But I know know more than ever that the line they say is true, "you can't appreciate real love til you've been burned."

"I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye"

Taking Chances

There are so many opportunities that come up in life, that you are not sure what path you should take. While one path may seem more appealing, its the road less traveled and its often a path of uncertainty. But living life always wondering "what if" is not always the best choice. Sure, sometimes you take a chance and it doesn't pan out the way that you had hoped. But you learned something didn't you? You don't have to wonder "what if" cause you know. You took a risk, you tried something. Taking chances is scary. Especially if there is a chance you could get hurt if things don't work out. But hopefully no matter what you will learn from the experience. Teaching moments are a great thing. They help you grow, and become the wonderful person you know you can be. If there is no risk, then there really is no gain. If you don't make yourself vulnerable, you will never get hurt, but you will also never have anything to gain. So put yourself out there. Take a chance and open yourself up to pain. With big risks come big rewards!!

Taking Chances: Celine Dion

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world.

Post Secrets

Sometimes I just love to read through these. Have you ever read peoples post secrets? They can be quite good, or weird, lol but an interesting read.

Define the Relationship

The hard thing about dating is reading signs. Its hard to know what they are thinking, and so sometimes its very common to have a DTR. (Define the relationship) I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about this girl that he has gone out with for the past 2 weeks, pretty much daily, and he was wanting things to be exclusive. He didn't want to scare her by asking yet though, so he wasn't sure what to do.

He asked my opinion on what he should do. And it was really advice I should always live by myself. I told him to have patience. Relax. Enjoy himself. And above all be his fun self and she will come around. What is it with people after 2 weeks already wanting to decide what things are? I am not saying im not guilty of it, but seriously! Maybe after a month I could say yeah you begin to wonder, but then again he does see her almost daily. I know when you find someone you think you like, you want to know that they feel the same way about things. But then there are those who want to DTR like every week. Its like where do you draw the line? Where is the line between wanting to know, and either annoying or scaring the other person away?

I feel bad for my friend, know he wants to be in a relationship. Everyone wants to be loved by someone. But there are so many signs, and they are hard to read. What to do? You don't want to overstep your boundaries.

The little things

While many see the big picture, I tend to look see past that to see the little things. Its not always intentional. But that is me none the less. I tend to notice things that may be unique, that may set you apart from someone else. I commented to my friend Molly one time, how she had this long indented crease down the middle of her tongue. I tend to notice an outfit that you may wear often, I know its your favorite. I notice what drink you like, and even if you use a straw or not. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but I notice the little things. To me, that is what life is all about. While big things may be great every now and then, its the little things that matter!

• It's about getting somewhere and finding the perfect parking space right up front
• Its about that look, in someones eyes as they hold you close, scanning you for any sign that it might be ok to kiss you for the first time.
• Its about wagging tails and puppy dog kisses
• That certain smell that brings you so many happy memories every time you smell it.
• Laughing so hard you cry
• Making a child smile
• Eating your favorite food

The list is lengthy, and I won't waste time listing everything, but life really is about the little things. I notice them, as I notice you!

"The little things, you do to me are
taking me over, i wanna show ya
everything inside of me
like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
my feet are stuck here, against the pavement
i wanna break free, i wanna make it
closer to your eyes, get your attention
before you pass me by"

Please Listen

It is an age old problem that you hear complained about everywhere, that men don't understand women. Its not a new subject, but what I find funny about the whole ordeal is that in all reality women don't truly understand themselves and there in lies the problem. Its difficult for someone else to grasp the concept of what women want, if in fact, that they don't know themselves. Its very typical for a woman to say one thing, but truly want something else. Its also very typical for a woman to not know what they want, so now matter what happens, its never "what they want." Women also constantly complain that men never listen. I have definitely found my share of men who tend to not listen, but I find that for the most part, these particular men have been around women in their lives who never SHUT UP. I am sure it gets old when listening is all you do, cause she never even takes a breath. Its just "yack yack yack yack, blah blah blah blah" and you really just don't give a crap. Then when there are men who truly do care about what you have to say, and do actually try and listen, then they get yelled at for trying to solve the problems. Men are inherently problem solvers. Us as women cannot come to them with a problem without them coming back at us with every kind of solution that they can come up with. And we get mad, we feel insulted...why is he telling me what to do??? I didn't ask him to tell me what to do, I just wanted him to listen. But guys don't get that this is what we want, and girls don't get that guys need to "fix things." Girls just want a sounding board, just someone to listen as they throw out ideas, complain about work, friends, life, etc. They don't want it fixed. Maybe us girls should follow in my friend monica's footsteps and when she doesn't want someone to solve her problem or give fake sympathy, she tells you upfront. That is what blogs do for me, they are my way of venting, or sounding off, or just getting something out there that is on my mind, and then I can somewhat release some of those emotions that plague me a times. For me, blogging can be an out for me. I was reading some of my old blogs, ones that I had written 2 years ago, and some of them are very angry, and very emotional. For a long time that is what blogging was for me, it was my release. But when I don't blog, I will occasionally talk to others, and its ok if you don't know the right thing to say, its ok if you don't have the answers, its not what I want. If I want answers, I will come seeking advice, you will know that is what I am looking for. Sometimes you just need a friend, a friendly face to listen, cause sometimes that is all you need. Thats one of the great things men can be for women, they are our rock, our strength, our comfort. And that is why we turn to them to tell our problems to, so they can listen and tell us no matter what everything is going to be ok. And then women have their girlfriends.



Girlfriends are vital for all women. Female friendships are precious commodities for women. Whether their girlfriends are married or single, mothers or childless, they are the people that we find our precious moments of relief with. We can let down our hair. We can let down our guard. We can be selfish. We can crack jokes. We can be ourselves and relax. As women, we experience a unique emotional connection with our female friends that is very different from the intimacy and emotional connection we feel with our significant others. They can tell us jokes. They can listen to our stories. We need our girlfriends. The need for these social connections does not minimize our other relationships by any measure - but we need all of these relationships for different reasons. I guess what I'm trying to say is while men may never understand what we want, and for that same matter we may never figure out what we want, thank goodness for the people we have in our lives who love us for who we are and make our lives so much better for the living.

If my life were a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool…

Opening Credits:
Please don't stop the Music-Rihanna
Very fitting, I think this is a good thing to start with

Waking Up:
Dreams-Cranberries
Sounds good to me

First Day At School:
Breaking Dishes-Rihanna
LOL "I don't know who you think I am"

Falling In Love:
Love you Madly-Cake
"I want to love you madly, I want to love you now" Sounds perfect to me!

Fight Song:
Us against the World-Christina Milian
LOL a tad too slow for a fight song

Breaking Up:
I don't Care-Fall Out Boy
HAHA this is great, I swear Im not hand picking these

Prom:
Lip Gloss-Lil Momma
Very Fitting

Life:
Do you Feel? Rocketsummer
WOW, amazing fit!

Mental Breakdown:
SOS (Rescue ME)-Rihianna
LOL I think this fits! Rihanna keeps coming up a lot lol

Driving:
Knowing Me, Knowing You-ABBA
I think if I drove to this I would fall asleep lol

Flashback:
Forever-Chris Brown
Fabulous choice

Wedding:
Believe in Me-Demi Lovito
I say this could fit

Birth of Child:
One Sweet Love-Sara Bareilles
Perfect. And beautiful.

Final Battle:
My Lovin (You're never gunna get it)-En Vogue
HAHA WHAT THE???

Death Scene:
Seventeen Forever-Metro Station
LOL This would have been a better Prom song

Funeral Song:
So Much Love-Rocketsummer
I think its fitting

End Credit:
Bubbly- Colbie Calliat
Thats a great song!

Pon and Zi say it best

Life or something like it

The movie “Life or Something Like it” asks the thought-provoking question: if you knew you only had one week to live, how would you spend it? Would you bother showing up for work? Would you put right all those bad relationships and feelings you've shoved deep into your subconscious? Or would you just keep on keeping on?

Tim McGraw: Live like you were dying

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."

For SALE: One heart, slightly bruised...

So I've decided, I've been going about it all wrong. I've been searching for a man who will "have me" when I should have been looking for the lucky sap who will win me! Yes, I have my faults. Yes, I am a bit goofy and a little left of center. But when it comes right down to it, I'm a pretty great woman. I tend to treat people well - too well, in some cases.
Love me, respect me, kiss me, hold me, that's all I ask, and I will be yours forever. My heart is a powerful thing, it doesn't love easily but when it does, its something pretty amazing. I love to make someone happy and can spend the rest of my life doing just that! I want you to love me, I want you to get me.

You Get Me: Michelle Branch

So Im a little left of center
Im a little out of tune
Some say Im paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I dont care what theyre sayin
As long as Im your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what youll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think Im crazy
But you say its okay
Youve seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
cause you get me
Yeah, oh, yeah, oh

Stressin me out

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.”

-George Burns

Today has been one heck of a day for me. I, on a usual basis, avoid stress at all costs. I avoid anything that might cause me stress because I can't stand it. I don't know how to relax once I get all wound up, and it takes a toll on my body. I get sick, I break out, I am just miserable. One thing that is really stressful is the unknown and waiting. Just tell me how the book is going to end so I can get on with it, I want to know what is going to happen.
I have a job interview in the morning, and while I have had several job interviews it doesn't stop me from stressing myself silly. I should be sleeping now, but I'm wide awake. I took Tylenol PM almost 2 hours ago, and a muscle relaxant an hour ago and I'm wide awake. I gotta get up in 6 hours, and I have to work tomorrow night so I need some sleep. I need something in my life to be easy, to be uncomplicated, I need to find something I do and do it well. I need that one stable thing that I can count on, that makes the good, the bad, and the ugly easier to deal with. I want this stress to go away!

Is this not the cutest thing ever?!?!?

I went and saw Chet tonight and when I got there, his daughter Valerie gave me this picture. It is a picture of me, her and her dad. She wrote out all of our names on the little purple sticky note on the bottom right hand corner. She explained to me that She and I were wearing crowns cause we were princesses and her dad had a crown it was just a little one. She also put the first letter of each of our names at the top. She told met that I could take the sticky notes off and put them wherever I wanted and that I could take the picture and put it in my room. We settled on the fact that it will look the best hanging on my fridge. What a precious girl! She nearly broke my heart when it came time to put her to bed. She bawled and bawled and bawled. Even after we left the room, Chet pointed out that she was crying my name. So I said I would go back in there and talk to her. She told me that I was her bestest friend ever and she just didn't want me going home. I tried to explain to her that I would see her next week and that she just had to go to school and get smart and then I would see her later. She told me that even if she goes to lots of school, Macie will always be smarter than her cause she already finished first grade. LOL The tears just kept streaming down her face as we talked. Chet came in a few minutes later and tried to reason with her and tell her that it makes it harder on everyone else when she crys. And that it wasn't fair for her to do that. I had to laugh. Girls are girls, they are just emotional and its going to get worse as then get older. Bring on the teenage years where everyone makes them mad, and everything makes them cry.

Have you ever been this tired?

I had to work the last few nights (Friday and Saturday night) and I got home from work around 830am. I guess I fell asleep around 9am and for some odd reason I woke up at 1030. That wouldn't be so bad but I must have been rather delirious because i thought that I woke up due to my alarm going off. So I got up, brushed my teeth, put my contacts back in, and hopped in the tub. I was so drunkenly tired that I dozed off for a for a minute or two in the tub. I couldn't figure out why I was so tired. After I got out of the tub, I looked at my phone (something I am not sure if I did before this or not) but I saw that it was only 1045am! What on earth was i doing up? I didn't have to get up until 3. So I put my pjs back on, took out my contacts yet again and fell immediately back to sleep. Even though waking up at 3 only meant I got 6 hours of sleep it felt like a ton of sleep compared to my hour and a half before. LOL

The Big Girl Panties Are Kinda Scratchy

"Grow up!"

At some point in time, you heard it too. From your parents or a teacher, maybe a significant other or a husband or wife. Maybe one of your closest friends lost patience with you and said it out of frustration. Oh, just grow up already!

What does that mean to you, to "grow up?" To have achieved a state where you can handle your own life with the least drama and distraction? Some might suggest that the meat and potatoes of being a grown-up are financial independence -- you have your own place, a job and resultant paycheck, and hopefully health coverage. Bills get paid on time, and your credit's good. You file your taxes and suck it up when you owe Uncle Sam. You can complain about all if this, but you act like a grown-up, because to do otherwise is unwise.

In other words, your life isn't a drag on others. You're not a "dependent" anymore. I suppose that could be considered "grown up." I have never really prided myself on being called a "grown-up" and many of you who know me know that I reserve the right to act like a child every now and then, and sometimes it may be more often than I should. However, all and all I think I have reached the point where my responsibilities creep up everywhere and I can no longer deny that I am in fact a grown up. I used to tell myself that once I was married, I would then in fact be a "grown up." However I am going to be 29 in a matter of 2 months, and I really can't wait for that "excuse." Besides, I know a lot married people, who are more of child than my 12 year old sister.

However being a grown up is not strictly a financial thing or reaching a certain age thing. Part of growing up is being able to say your sorry, and realize that you have made a mistake, (whether intentionally or unintentionally) and someone got hurt. Its taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that you are not always going to be right. And sometimes even when you are without a doubt "right", being the bigger person, and bowing out of an argument when you realize no solution is ever going to be reached.

I think that growing up means realizing that the "way you are" does not have to be permanent. You can always change! You CAN become a better house keeper, you CAN learn to mellow out. You CAN learn to make a list, and you CAN learn to go without. You CAN learn to be a little more laid back, or you CAN learn to take life a little more seriously. Just because you are a certain way now, does not mean that you cannot learn to change. Part of being a grown up is being flexible for change. Maybe the way you have learned to do things is not necessarily the best way to do it, or the one that will bring the most happiness to you and those around you. Growing up may mean that there will be change.

I think that growing up means remembering you once said, I love you and that you meant it, no matter how things ended. Being a grown-up, too, means having a really good memory when it comes to the person who stood by you in all those bad times. Grown-ups don't cheat. Well, they do, but they're not being grown-ups when they do it.

I think that growing up means being able to say "I don't know." And letting go of that child-ego that made you feel as though everything you thought and believed was not only right, but indeed fact.

I hate having to be a grown-up, I really do! I hate cleaning house and doing laundry (I swear I just did it YESTERDAY, why does it have to be done again!?!). I hate paying my bills and balancing my money to make sure all my bills get paid and on time. I really hate taking DVDs back to the video store on time. Blockbuster knows that in certain cases they will have to call me 2 or 3 times, and in some cases, they will just have to charge my card, I might as well just keep the movie....

But the hardest part about growing up is the change that has to occur inside that tells you how to live sensibly and diligently, with compassion and fairness to the others (even when you don't get it back in return). Sometimes it's comes naturally, but often, you have to sit down and ask yourself, "Am I handling this like a mature adult?" That's always a tough one to answer. The internal "grow up!" command we give ourselves is sort of like eating your mental and emotional carrots. They suck, but they're good for your "vision". LOL Being a grown up is not always a fun thing to do, but it is the RIGHT thing to do.

I'd hate to think that everyone was truly "grown-up" all the time. That would be boring, wouldn't it? Everyone should run, when they want to, ride bikes, eat Twinkies, watch cartoons on Saturday morning, if that floats their boat. There are nonthreatening ways of being delightfully childlike to the people around you. The key word here being child"like" not childish.

But at the end of the day (or the night), we're all grown-ups again. Because we know, childhood is over and gone.

Monica Night

For my last night before having to return back to work I was able to go down to Saginaw (near Fort Worth) to visit my friend Monica. She said she has been a little down lately, so we came up with a great recipe for smiles. We went to the Grapevine Mills Mall for dinner, movie and crazy pictures. A guarantee to make at least ME smile. It was a great night, we had a blast. Food was great, and movie was great, expect for not the ending I wanted. I hate it when a movie is perfect right until then end and then bam, not the ending you had waited for during the whole movie. *sigh* Oh well, it was still a great night!

A photo to start off the night

A photo Op

"They're Real and they're Spectacular"

Always entertaining myself

HUH?

Just like Kayne West

HEHE

Too cool

YUM!

I love to try on hats!

All smiles at dinner