Monday, May 11, 2009

I stayed home sick today

Uh oh… I think that I might be suffering from the mythical and elusive Swine Flu. I awoke this morning feeling somewhat poorly, and a quick inventory of my body revealed the presence of the following symptoms:

Hamnesia

Porkinson’s Disease

Hogwarts

Low BLT-cell count

Swilling and Tenderness

Difficulty Wallowing

Apigpendicitis

Pork Rhinitis

Tender Loins

Epstein-Barbeque Syndrome

Hogular Migraine

Extreme Boardom

Cloven Hoof and Mouth Disease

A Honey Glazed Expression

Swollen Limbaughs

If you experience any of the above symptoms, I encourage you to drink an entire bottle of Nysqueal and seek the help of an oinkologist immediately!

UPDATE: Whew! It turns out that I was only suffering from a mild stomach bug and lack of sleep… Thank Goodness! It was merely a case of “whine flu.” Nevertheless, if you suspect that you have contracted the deadly Swine Flu, don’t panic. You may already be “cured!”

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious!!!

Miss Nesbit said...

That's a pretty funny list... So, not that I'm upset or anything, but just so you know my name is Mattie Tanner... not Maddie. No worries, just thought I would tell you. :)